Clarke Quay - Prostitutes, Xmas Shop and Aussie jokes

good morning ... kind of,


well, a few hours ago, i was too tired to go SERIOUSLY out - and too awake to go to bed. so, i decided to walk around clarke quay, a riverside destination, where a lot of nightlife happens .... bars, pubs, clubs. in fact, being there by myself was nothing special but somehow, i picked up some stories which were weird and funny.

first of all, it takes around 15-20 minutes to walk down there. and, on that way, there comes a point where a bunch of prostitutes are around (which is in fact illegal here, but these girls are not THAT easy to recognize ... at least not at first sight). however, one of these chicks started talking to me. where i would come from, she asked. and what i would do here. her third question then was: "do you like massage?". aha. massage. well. i answered that i would be on the way to my girlfriend (girlfriend??? alright, i was lying, but she was too, hehe .... "massage" .... SURE THING!).

however, when i came with that "girlfriend fact", she suddenly was very embarrassed, holding her hands in front of her face, and affected by my words, said "oooouuuuh, you have girlfriend. i didn't know. sorry, sorry. have a good night". well ...... i mean .... SERIOUSLY??? a "prostitute" that is apologizing for her "offer"? jes.. ....!

by the way, i met her again on my way back home. she was looking at me. i looked at her. massage? NOPE. but i felt kind of embarrassed, too. what "might have happened" with my "girlfriend", hehe.

second weird thing happened when i finally arrived at the kind of party place. i checked out an arabic bar, when suddenly ... on the other side of the alley ... i recognized that shop ... and that was weird. for all germans of you, it was called "der erzgebirge laden" ... and it had what you would expect from that name: traditional german xmas decoration stuff: carved santa clauses, xmas pyramids, and all that stuff - in the middle of singapore, close to the equator, in the party district. what the f***!

and finally, when having a rest from walking around, i picked up jokes from some australian dudes that were sitting right next to me. and here are the ones i remember. by the way ... i already apologize. and for those of you who are rather critical and serious, just stop reading here. for all the others ...:

"why wouldn't you like to be an egg? well, you get only laid once. it takes 5 minutes to become hard. and the only thing that is sitting on your face is your mum."

"what do men do after they had sex? ... 80% are driving home."

"what do airplanes and women have in common? ... both have a cock-pit."

"what is the difference between 'like' and 'love'? ... if you like, you spit. if you love, you swallow!"

and here comes my favourite one. it's for all of you who had a bad, bad day, and think, life can't be worse. well, it can if you imagine the following (and girls, PLEASE try!!):

"you have a siamese brother. he is gay. you are NOT. your brother has a date for tonight, where apparently someone will score. he is the "female" type. he won't score. he will get laid .... .... ....
...
....
.....
you only have ONE ASS!"

have a good one & cheers!